DON'T WAIT, THEY WON'T

All too many times, I have heard the story and lament of "I was going to
talk to Uncle Fred, but he died before I did". This is always an awful
thing to have to experience...not only Uncle Fred's death..but the fact
that perhaps Uncle Fred was the only person in the family who could have
solved many mysteries and questions regarding the family line.

Such as:
Just who are those strange people in front of grandma's house?
What was Matilda's first husband's name (the one you descend from)
What was dad like as a child?
Who has the old family bible?
What was the country of origin for our family and the story behind their
immigration?

How difficult is it to talk to your relatives? Sometimes perhaps it is
hard, but how will you find that data after they are gone....
DON'T WAIT
The older family members are not sitting around waiting for you to appear
with questions for them to answer before they can die. It will happen without
warning, and most assuredly without your permission.Once that opportunity is
gone, then it's really gone.Stop and think today of any of the older family
members who just might have some knowledge to share with you. This will be
not only a day of information for you..but also a pleasant day of visting and
reminiscing for them as well.
There are a few things I have found out though in talking with older family
members:
THEY MAY NOT ALWAYS IMMEDIATELY ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT YOU ASK.
However, what they do tell you in their stories may just become as worthwhile as
a direct answer. The answer will come eventually, you have to look for it.

IT IS NOT ALWAYS A MATTER OF WHAT THEY KNOW OR WILL TELL--BUT OF ASKING THE
RIGHT QUESTION. Sometimes older persons may not quite remember everything "on call".
However, in making conversation, it helps to spur other memories which give way to
the real answers you do want.I know of a man who almost never answers directly, but
days later when asking a seemingly unrelated question..it will set him off into a
very detailed oratory that will perfectly answer my previous question.

LOOK FOR SOME OF THE MEAT ON THE BONES--Older persons don't always want to just
give you a "yes or no" answer. They like to talk and wander in their conversation..
many of them just love to gossip or to talk. Think about it..they don't really have
many opportunities to discuss their old school days or their old relatives, nobody is
around who is concerned anymore..your questions give them a chance to do that.

ASK WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW--These older persons have been around the block a time or
two (sometimes several). They can handle the directness much better then you think they
can.

DON'T EXPECT THEM TO READ YOUR MIND--Even though our older relatives are wise in the
stories of the family, don't expect them to be able to read your mind as to what you are
wanting.

ENJOY YOUR VISIT--You may just unexpectedly develop a deeper relationship with your
older family members. When they find out that you are doing the family history, they may
throw things your way as they remember them.